Tree of Series

by Avidya And The Kleshas

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  • Compact Disc (CD)

    Eco-wallet comes in a recycled, zero carbon footprint case.

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  • Compact Disc (CD)

    Entitled "Saplings," this exclusive (ooh! ahh!) physical CD was handmade with love by AATK to sell on the road. Hand-stamped and hand-written by Stephanie on a recycled cardboard sleeve, there are only 70 copies IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. Featuring song selections from TREE OF SERIES.

    Includes immediate download of 11-track album in the high-quality format of your choice (MP3, FLAC, and more), plus unlimited mobile access using the free Bandcamp listening app.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 45 

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04:21

credits

released 04 June 2013
AVIDYA AND THE KLESHAS ARE:
stephanie carlin - vocals, acoustic guitar, compositions
xander naylor – electric guitar
javi santiago – piano, rhodes, wurlitzer
russ flynn – bass
wes reid – percussion

all songs written, arranged, and produced by stephanie carlin
recorded live by pete thompson at hoboken recorders, hoboken, nj
mixed by andy baldwin at rola pola, brooklyn, ny
mastered by heba kadry at the lodge, new york, ny

cover art painted by greg rourke

© 2013 stephanie carlin music, ascap.

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Track Name: Mother and God
I am a rock.
I glued my rusted roots, my spine is used to bear fruit - I am rooted
But you are not, you cocooned my blooming womb

I am the fuel – seducing, introducing, confusing you with truths
But you don’t really understand these tools

Push push push me away - I will wait here for you
Push push push me away with trembling hands coated in glue
Push push push me away - you’ll come back on your own
Push push push me away and I’ll sit here calm, reposed, exposed

I am divine
I am the light inside you
But I am not mother and god
I am a rock.

I am the glue.
I glued my shredded heart, wept for help
but your speech was slurred and you refused to watch as I
pulled myself together

In your flitting fleeting eyes, I only shine light
In your flitting fleeting eyes, I preach these seductive truths
In your flitting fleeting mind, I’m crucified, bow down, look up
In your flitting fleeting mind, I bear the fruit

Now, I am a backbone
I am a spearhead
But I am not mother and god
I am a rock.
Track Name: This I Know Nothing
i
It’s cold but there’s a light a burn a bright light
always blazing inside
It’s dark but there’s a light a burn a bright light -
that’s all there is
that’s all we are

I light a match, I fight the switch, I grind up broken mirrors
clean up / weep, clean up / grieve / clean up, breathe
I’m tuning in and tuning out, I choose all my own tunings
this I know
I don’t know anything

ii
I’m sure that there’s a light, a burn, a bright light
ablaze inside of him (even if he don’t yet know)
I’m sure the rose can bloom inside his cavern, in his cage
this I know
I don’t know anything

His love earned the title of god but like all idols
he failed me – he was ordinary
I’m sure his love was pure, I’m sure his eyes were blue
I’m sure of what – I never knew him at all

iii
It’s hard, she falls apart, but there’s a mirror that she’s holding –
it is shimmering inside
and all her broken plans, her broken man, the broken
show her sacred shadows that she’s been avoiding

The veils and blinders distort the image she reflected on her body
Her sweatshop spins like turnstiles, she never said consent
to the invasion of her wisdom
the mutilation of her freedom
the creation of a victim inside her head

Cry into the sun
Lie under the sun
Die under the sun
Track Name: Stripped Of Oblivion
it’s saturday morning, two lovers bask in their kiss
two lovers bask in their kiss - so perfect
it’s saturday morning, an atom splits
an atom splits off in the distance - my coffee drips

the sunlight is thrashing, colored clouds dazzling
bodies awakening, like butter they’re melting
the night air is thrashing, fireworks crashing
bodies are dancing, like butter they’re melting
into each other (but not forever)

stripped of oblivion, my arm reaches the sun
reaches peaks of the earth no hand ever has touched
and i’m stripped of oblivion

yet when the universe collapses
you’ll tell me you don’t understand it
but i’m stripped of oblivion

so let your smashed spirits shatter your ego and power
obtained to be scattered, to be free from clouded love
and allow the great earth to drip through your mind
and let it kiss you

and i’m stripped of oblivion
Track Name: The Human Struggle (Gone/Gone)
when i finally start seeing the world in color
when the laws of the earth supersede law and order
and i’m finally tired of drowning in whiskey
and i stop sitting and wishing and start doing and feeling
when i’m okay with the man i love not calling
when i’m okay with the man i love suddenly dying
when i’m deaf and blind
and my throat’s on fire
always stays on fire

gate gate pāragate pārasamgate bodhi svaha

denial gives me the right to my lifestyle.
denial twists me around for more - give me more

when i finally stop denying i’m empty
when the hard laws of love defeat dreams of peace
and i finally see all my “needs” as a disease
and i quit whining and wanting and realize i’m alive
now i know the path is not a straight line
the path, the sweet path, takes it’s sweet time
i gotta wake up out of the dream
everything is rooted in nothing

gate gate pāragate pārasamgate bodhi svāhā

wake up and take a breath
wake up and just be grateful you got a few more left
wake up and take a breath
wake up and be grateful you got a few more left

gone gone, all gone
gone gone all gone
gone gone, all gone
divine wisdom remains when it’s all gone
Track Name: In The Hospital Room
i crawled over slowly
to your perfect body
so early in the morning
i wondered where we were – and then it hit me

the seconds stalled, the minutes froze back then
i’m gonna fall in love with you, you said
i denied you at first, then i broke and bent
because you are the one - and it hit me.

let me look at you now
let me look at you now like i looked at you then
let me look at you now
let me look at you now - before it hits me

silent as your heart beat
the seconds stall, the minutes freeze
paralyzed in my seat
you just stare at me

and it hits me
Track Name: Hear Are The Apples
when you’ve got me working i can’t breathe no more - overtime’s not for everyone
and you’re payin me shit, and i can’t afford to keep afloat on this caste you adore
my heart beats an SOS OM OM OM SOS - root to the core
my heart screams an SOS OM OM OM SOS
when my lungs cave i’ll get that reward

you are the apple
skin thin and battered
browned beat and bitter
what does it matter anymore (it doesn’t)
it goes deeper right to the core

well you’ve got metal rods rusting your brain
from the inside out you’re staying sane
your heart’s playing games and your mind has been maimed
now all the blood you could be bleeding bled
your heart beats an SOS OM OM OM SOS - root to the core
will scream for my SOS OM OM OM SOS
when my lungs cave there’ll be no reward

so chew that shit you’ve been dropping on me and my display case prophesies
yeah chew the rotted apples between your teeth
and under your tongue, lick your lips clean
our hearts beat an SOS OM OM OM SOS - together as one
we scream, we don’t need to be heard anymore
but when our lungs cave we’ll take that reward

take your damn apples, their complexity’s smashed
in this tree of series there always is an open door
just depends what you are looking for
Track Name: Babies Grow Up
My best friend from high school, she was kind of a slut and her brother smoked pot every day before the bus came. He didn’t graduate but he just got done with two rounds in Iraq and two round of applause. He got a gold star for pumping star spangled lead for star spangled fun into a stark naked man who begged at my friend's brother to stop raping his terrified terrorist wife with the star spangled barrel of his star spangled gun.

God bless you - God bless our troops – God bless you – Will God bless them?

Because their babies don’t grow up. Their babies don’t grow up. The star spangled bombs meant to liberate and save (the star spangled crusade God swore was safe) play a star spangled part in the brown babies falling out of terrified mothers. The brown babies fall out of terrified terrorist mothers with double heads and failing hearts.

Back home my babies grow up, skip along bloodied cement. My neighbor’s the alleged terrorist suspect, yeah my babies grow up fearing the brown bearded man. Back home my babies grow up septic and toxic, sipping mommy’s milk out of contaminated plastic - my babies grow up shrink wrapped and malignant but hey, at least they grow up, at least they’re breathing.

Because their babies don’t grow up. Their babies don’t grow up. The star spangled bombs meant to liberate and save, the star spangled uranium God swore was safe – well, it is your star spangled fault that the brown babies fall out of terrified mothers. The brown babies fall out of terrified terrorist mothers and we just skip along, disgraceful.

My best friend from high school, she was kind of a slut and her brother smoked pot every day before the bus came. He didn’t graduate but he just got done with two rounds in Iraq and two rounds in his gut.

He got some star spangled nails in his coffin. That’s what they’ve done for him. He got some star spangled nails in his coffin. I’m sure his mother’s proud of him.

God bless you. God bless these truths.
Track Name: Body Of Lead
i’m a child of noise, nickel and diming peace
static clogs me at all frequencies
in my body of lead, in this body i lead

quiet the mind, quiet the fears
love is here, listen, love is here
in my body of lead, in this body i lead

space
is a thing to be filled
space is a thing to be filled
and the house and the cars and the things consume me
my ears ring, my ears ring
space is a thing to be filled

i’m a product of use, confusing wrong with right
pride flicks off and on the lights inside
my body of lead, in this body i lead

what do i fear
what do i fear when love disappears
in my body of lead, in this body i lead

space
breaks into my skull
space paints over the dull noise
space creates a steady stream to
let go

let go
let go

the clearer the distortion be
Track Name: Talking To A Brick Wall
you built a mighty fine brick wall
i crash into you, brick and mortar and all
contusions and concussions between dead end discussions
they're cushioned, familiar collisions

sick intoxicating scent dig deep under my fingernails
tongue hot, body bent backwards for you
i love you

o, brick wall
you watch me squirm, but you're firm, you stand tall
and i could beg at you, tear and you, dig into you, with all my charm
unlike me, you never fall

eyelids weak, i flutter through the sheets
forcing myself to go through the motions
pacing myself, i take the lead
but i think you're gone - yeah, you're goin.

o, brick wall
my breaks fail, you cripple me
my breaks fail, you rip through me
and i can always count on running into you
leaving me for a fool

sick intoxicating scent dig deep under my fingernails
tongue hot, body bent backwards, for you
i’m a fool
Track Name: Tree Of Series
loneliness pulled against my skin
loneliness plants the seeds
loneliness held me and stroked my cheek
loneliness had to leave

had to leave.

alone i pulled against my skin
alone i plant the seeds
the withered rush is a tool to use
solitude will bloom

stay with me. don’t leave

loneliness cracked my blooming ribs
and exposed the heart of what this is
loneliness pulled with guiding hands
like a dream, wiped the slate clean

but it will leave.

i am the leaves
falling
from the tree of series

i am the leaves.

from a distance, solitude reminds me
not to envy bliss
Track Name: Being
i like the secrets you sneak
between the sheets, between the lines, between my dreams
i like that your footing’s not concrete
i like that you’re a human being
you’re being
human

i like the life you lead
between the falls, between the rocks, between journeys
but I like that your footing’s not concrete
i like that you’re a human being
you’re being
human

the clearer the distortion be

i like the war inside
i like the war inside your mind
the journey the soul takes is sublime
i like that some wars are worthwhile